What Would Joey Do?

By Jack Gantos

Report by: Christopher

       This is a story about a regular boy with a weird family. His mom is furious with her divorced husband, who tries to win her heart again, but fails. Joey also has his grandma and his dog Pablo, to cheer him up. I’m going to tell you the problems in Joey’s life throughout this response to literature.

        In one part, Joey, Joey’s mom, and Grandma were in the house., when they heard a motor engine. It got louder and louder, until they saw it was Joey’s dad on a motorcycle in his backyard. Joey’s mom went out with a broom and went to the porch. Joey asked, ”What are you doing?”

        ”Something I should have done a long time ago,” responded Joey’s mom.
        “Are you going to kill him? Stop!”

        “I’m fine.  I’m not going to kill him.”
        Then Joey’s dad crashed into a tree and got a twig thru his stomach. An ambulance came and took him away.

        Joey has to attend home school with Mrs. Lapps, and her blind girl, Olivia. Everyday, when Joey rings the doorbell, Mrs. Lapps cheerfully asks, ”What would Jesus do?”  Joey will have to think of a good response or he’ll have to try again.

        In home school, Olivia tortures Joey by getting him in trouble. One time, Joey  got a new Tweetie Bird watch. Olivia took it and put it in the microwave, pushed some buttons, and it smoked up. It looked like it was going to explode. Mrs. Lapps came running in and turned it off and said,” Now, Joey, we all know better than putting stuff in the microwave- especially something with metal on it.”

        Once, Olivia threw her cane into the air, running down the sidewalk screaming, ”Help! Help! Joey Pigza is murdering me! Help!”

         Joey came following her yelling, ”Hey! Stop that! I’m not killing you!”
        In Joey’s household, they have a Thanksgiving dinner, including Joey, Joey’s mom, Joey’s grandma, and Booth (Joey’s mom’s boy friend). Everything was good until there was a ring on the doorbell. Joey’s mom answered the door, and on the steps was a basket of roses. She took it in. The doorbell rang again. This time, there were 3 pies stacked on each other and a 6-pack of beer. Joey’s mom took it in. Then the doorbell rang yet again. This time a ring case, Joey’s mom ran in with it, grabbed a electric knife and cut it in half and ran back to the front steps and screamed, ”It’s plastic, cheap creep!”

        There was Joey’s dad, on the front lawn, on his motorcycle.  Joey’s mom threw the roses, pies, the ring and the electric knife. The police officers finally came, so Joey’s dad fled.
        Joey’s grandma has watched him ever since he was 4. Even though he didn’t like his grandma, now Joey trusts her. Joey’s grandma advises him to start making friends. Joey tries his best to become friends with Olivia. When Joey was trying to make friends with Olivia, Joey’s grandma was making money for Joey to inherit when she passed away.
        Despite how Olivia was so mean, he tried to reason with her. Olivia had to say to his grandma that she was his friend and in return, Joey had to bring her to a play called Godspell.  Olivia’s mom hates things that turn the Christian religion to entertainment.  But Joey pulled it off and everything worked out.
        Well, these are some of the problems that Joey has to live with. I hope that you enjoyed my response to literature as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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This page last updated: 08/28/04